Shalom Life | November 23, 2014

REVIEW: This Means War

This Means War proves that it's impossible to make a good film that appeals to everyone.

By: Jake Horowitz

Published: February 14th, 2012 in Culture » Film » Reviews

REVIEW: This Means War

This Valentine’s day, the people behind This Means War are hoping you’ll take your better half to see their film. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, because this romantic comedy is also an action movie! And a spy movie! And it stars Reese Witherspoon! And Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are in it! And Chelsea Handler too! The benefits of why every movie-going person in the world should see this film are laid out like a recipe for all to see, and director McG and the writers must have thought they had the winning formula when they crafted this film.

Turns out, they were wrong.

This Means War does what few movies have done in the past and tries to cater towards EVERYONE. If this movie were a four-course meal, it would be the equivalent of Matzo Ball Soup, Chicken Fried Rice with Curry, a Bacon Double Cheeseburger, and Gelato. If that doesn’t spell disaster, I don’t know what does.

In trying to appeal to all demographics, This Means War leaves one out- fans of good movies. It’s got pretty generic action scenes, clichéd comedy lines, and a concept that seems incredibly familiar. Two spies turned against each other, now where have I seen that before?

The actors do the best with what they’re given, but ultimately they’re not given much. This is not to mention the fact that the ending makes completely no sense and is kind of amazing in its own right. To say anything would be to spoil the film’s only spoilable moment, but once the film ends you should be scratching your head wondering why the characters have done such stupid things. Not that this is the kind of movie where you need to be nit picking at plot holes anyways.

This is the kind of film that people who like a movie like Vampires Suck would like. If you enjoy people getting hit in the crotch with unnecessarily loud sound effects and someone calling alcohol “Mommy’s special milk,” then this is the movie for you.

This Means War isn’t good and any sane person would know that, but if you’re not looking for much more from a movie than the fact that it…exists…then go see this film. If you prefer something well written and well made, stay away.

Sarah Silverman Admits to Crossing the Line With Bill Cosby Rape Joke Sarah Silverman Admits to Crossing the Line With Bill Cosby Rape Joke TrendingAmy Schumer Pays Tribute to Joan Rivers at Glamour's Women Of The Year Awards [VIDEO] Amy Schumer Pays Tribute to Joan Rivers at Glamour's Women Of The Year Awards [VIDEO] TrendingJustin Bieber is Not Becoming a Nice Jewish Boy Justin Bieber is Not Becoming a Nice Jewish Boy Trending
 

The Ten Best Kosher Restaurants In Toronto

November 21, 2014 | By Caitlin Marceau
The Ten Best Kosher Restaurants In Toronto

We look at the best kosher eateries the city of Toronto has to offer

Read More

Israelis Grapple with Synagogue Safety in Aftermath of Jerusalem Attack

November 21, 2014 | By Deborah Fineblum Schabb, JNS.org
Israelis Grapple with Synagogue Safety in Aftermath of Jerusalem Attack

Rabbis agree that we have to be more "vigilant" at shul

Read More

Israel Antiquities Authority Launches New Game For Children

November 21, 2014 | By Caitlin Marceau
Israel Antiquities Authority Launches New Game For Children

With "Dig Quest: Israel," kids will learn about history and archaeology without having to get off their iPads

Read More

Life Expectancy On The Rise In Israel

November 21, 2014 | By Caitlin Marceau
Life Expectancy On The Rise In Israel

Expectancy for both men and women is up compared to 2012

Read More

Lena Dunham, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Adam Sandler Read "Mean Tweets" on Jimmy Kimmel

November 21, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Lena Dunham, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Adam Sandler Read "Mean Tweets" on Jimmy Kimmel

Dunham doesn't seem amused by one Twitter comment reading: "Unpopular opinion: lena dunham's boobs are dog noses."

Read More

Sarah Silverman Admits to Crossing the Line With Bill Cosby Rape Joke

November 21, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Sarah Silverman Admits to Crossing the Line With Bill Cosby Rape Joke

The comedian offended many of her Twitter followers on Wednesday.

Read More

Amy Schumer Pays Tribute to Joan Rivers at Glamour's Women Of The Year Awards [VIDEO]

November 21, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Amy Schumer Pays Tribute to Joan Rivers at Glamour's Women Of The Year Awards [VIDEO]

Schumer gave a hilarious and heartwarming tribute to the late comedian.

Read More

Justin Bieber is Not Becoming a Nice Jewish Boy

November 21, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Justin Bieber is Not Becoming a Nice Jewish Boy

Several media outlets falsely reported that Bieber was seeking council from a rabbi in Los Angeles.

Read More

More Headlines