Shalom Life | August 01, 2015

REVIEW: This Means War

This Means War proves that it's impossible to make a good film that appeals to everyone.

By: Jake Horowitz

Published: February 14th, 2012 in Culture » Film » Reviews

REVIEW: This Means War

This Valentine’s day, the people behind This Means War are hoping you’ll take your better half to see their film. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, because this romantic comedy is also an action movie! And a spy movie! And it stars Reese Witherspoon! And Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are in it! And Chelsea Handler too! The benefits of why every movie-going person in the world should see this film are laid out like a recipe for all to see, and director McG and the writers must have thought they had the winning formula when they crafted this film.

Turns out, they were wrong.

This Means War does what few movies have done in the past and tries to cater towards EVERYONE. If this movie were a four-course meal, it would be the equivalent of Matzo Ball Soup, Chicken Fried Rice with Curry, a Bacon Double Cheeseburger, and Gelato. If that doesn’t spell disaster, I don’t know what does.

In trying to appeal to all demographics, This Means War leaves one out- fans of good movies. It’s got pretty generic action scenes, clichéd comedy lines, and a concept that seems incredibly familiar. Two spies turned against each other, now where have I seen that before?

The actors do the best with what they’re given, but ultimately they’re not given much. This is not to mention the fact that the ending makes completely no sense and is kind of amazing in its own right. To say anything would be to spoil the film’s only spoilable moment, but once the film ends you should be scratching your head wondering why the characters have done such stupid things. Not that this is the kind of movie where you need to be nit picking at plot holes anyways.

This is the kind of film that people who like a movie like Vampires Suck would like. If you enjoy people getting hit in the crotch with unnecessarily loud sound effects and someone calling alcohol “Mommy’s special milk,” then this is the movie for you.

This Means War isn’t good and any sane person would know that, but if you’re not looking for much more from a movie than the fact that it…exists…then go see this film. If you prefer something well written and well made, stay away.

WATCH: Jon Stewart Addresses Uproar over his "Secret" Meeting with President Obama WATCH: Jon Stewart Addresses Uproar over his "Secret" Meeting with President Obama TrendingWATCH: Viral Video of Israeli Father Shaving his Beard for First Time in 14 Years WATCH: Viral Video of Israeli Father Shaving his Beard for First Time in 14 Years TrendingWATCH: Trailer for New Seth Rogen Christmas Movie WATCH: Trailer for New Seth Rogen Christmas Movie Trending
 

WATCH: Jon Stewart Addresses Uproar over his "Secret" Meeting with President Obama

July 30, 2015 | By Daina Goldfinger
WATCH: Jon Stewart Addresses Uproar over his "Secret" Meeting with President Obama

"Something is not a secret just because you don't know about it"

Read More

Canadian Couple: Killing Young Jews Will Save Them from Hell

July 30, 2015 | By B. Shane Morganstein
Canadian Couple: Killing Young Jews Will Save Them from Hell

The couple, convicted of trying to bomb the British Columbia Legislature, hoped to save Jews from growing up and going to "eternal hell"

Read More

WATCH: Viral Video of Israeli Father Shaving his Beard for First Time in 14 Years

July 30, 2015 | By B. Shane Morganstein
WATCH: Viral Video of Israeli Father Shaving his Beard for First Time in 14 Years

People are going crazy for this family's reaction to a man named Mooki shaving his beard

Read More

EXCLUSIVE: JSwipe Founder Opens Up About JDate Lawsuit

July 30, 2015 | By B. Shane Morganstein & Daniel Koren
EXCLUSIVE: JSwipe Founder Opens Up About JDate Lawsuit

"We believe their claims lack merit and we intend to defend our rights vigorously," says David Yarus

Read More

University of Toronto Students Fight Back Against BDS

July 30, 2015 | By Adir Krafman
University of Toronto Students Fight Back Against BDS

U of T Students' Union Board of Directors overwhelmingly rejects creation of BDS committee

Read More

Shaw Festival Review: The Twelve-Pound Look

July 29, 2015 | By Hermine Steinberg
Shaw Festival Review: The Twelve-Pound Look

J.M Barrie's 'The Twelve-Pound Look' is a witty and poignant portrayal of marriage during the Edwardian Era.

Read More

Israeli Archaeologists Discover Remnants of Great Historical Synagogue

July 29, 2015 | By B. Shane Morganstein
Israeli Archaeologists Discover Remnants of Great Historical Synagogue

Using new technology, Israeli archaeologists have unearthed what may be the Great Synagogue of Vilna

Read More

WATCH: Trailer for New Seth Rogen Christmas Movie

July 29, 2015 | By B. Shane Morganstein
WATCH: Trailer for New Seth Rogen Christmas Movie

'The Night Before' "was made by Jews and opens on Thanksgiving"

Read More

More Headlines