Shalom Life | December 22, 2014

REVIEW: This Means War

This Means War proves that it's impossible to make a good film that appeals to everyone.

By: Jake Horowitz

Published: February 14th, 2012 in Culture » Film » Reviews

REVIEW: This Means War

This Valentine’s day, the people behind This Means War are hoping you’ll take your better half to see their film. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, because this romantic comedy is also an action movie! And a spy movie! And it stars Reese Witherspoon! And Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are in it! And Chelsea Handler too! The benefits of why every movie-going person in the world should see this film are laid out like a recipe for all to see, and director McG and the writers must have thought they had the winning formula when they crafted this film.

Turns out, they were wrong.

This Means War does what few movies have done in the past and tries to cater towards EVERYONE. If this movie were a four-course meal, it would be the equivalent of Matzo Ball Soup, Chicken Fried Rice with Curry, a Bacon Double Cheeseburger, and Gelato. If that doesn’t spell disaster, I don’t know what does.

In trying to appeal to all demographics, This Means War leaves one out- fans of good movies. It’s got pretty generic action scenes, clichéd comedy lines, and a concept that seems incredibly familiar. Two spies turned against each other, now where have I seen that before?

The actors do the best with what they’re given, but ultimately they’re not given much. This is not to mention the fact that the ending makes completely no sense and is kind of amazing in its own right. To say anything would be to spoil the film’s only spoilable moment, but once the film ends you should be scratching your head wondering why the characters have done such stupid things. Not that this is the kind of movie where you need to be nit picking at plot holes anyways.

This is the kind of film that people who like a movie like Vampires Suck would like. If you enjoy people getting hit in the crotch with unnecessarily loud sound effects and someone calling alcohol “Mommy’s special milk,” then this is the movie for you.

This Means War isn’t good and any sane person would know that, but if you’re not looking for much more from a movie than the fact that it…exists…then go see this film. If you prefer something well written and well made, stay away.

Top 50 Hottest Jewish Women of 2014 (30-21) Top 50 Hottest Jewish Women of 2014 (30-21) TrendingAdam Levine's Maroon 5 Rock Out at The People Magazine Awards [VIDEO] Adam Levine's Maroon 5 Rock Out at The People Magazine Awards [VIDEO] TrendingTop 50 Hottest Jewish Women of 2014 (40-31) Top 50 Hottest Jewish Women of 2014 (40-31) Trending
 

Top 50 Hottest Jewish Women of 2014 (30-21)

December 19, 2014 | By Ashley Baylen
Top 50 Hottest Jewish Women of 2014 (30-21)

Join Shalom Life in celebrating the 50 most talented, intelligent, funny, and beautiful Jewish women of the year.

Read More

Analyst Suggests Qatar 'Give' World Cup 2022 to Gaza

December 19, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
Analyst Suggests Qatar 'Give' World Cup 2022 to Gaza

Tom Gross argues that the move would be beneficial for Palestinians in Israel

Read More

Natalie Portman Explains How 'Star Wars' Almost Ruined Her Career

December 19, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Natalie Portman Explains How 'Star Wars' Almost Ruined Her Career

The 'Black Swan' actress says no one wanted to work with her after 'Star Wars'

Read More

Liberace's Hologram to Go On World Tour, Starting in Las Vegas

December 19, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Liberace's Hologram to Go On World Tour, Starting in Las Vegas

The deceased performer will be entertaining a whole new generation of fans.

Read More

Adam Levine's Maroon 5 Rock Out at The People Magazine Awards [VIDEO]

December 19, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Adam Levine's Maroon 5 Rock Out at The People Magazine Awards [VIDEO]

On Thursday evening, Maroon 5 wowed the audience with a live performance of 'Animals'

Read More

Oops! Drake Confused Adam Silver for Donald Sterling

December 19, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Oops! Drake Confused Adam Silver for Donald Sterling

At the Toronto Raptors Drake night, Drake mixed up some important names.

Read More

Ambassador Dan Shapiro Urges U.S. Collaboration with Jerusalem College of Technology

December 19, 2014 | By ShalomLife Team
Ambassador Dan Shapiro Urges U.S. Collaboration with Jerusalem College of Technology

Shapiro visited the college for a private demonstration of several ground-breaking technologies developed by students

Read More

This British Politician Is Trying to Put an End to Racism & anti-Semitism on Twitter

December 19, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
This British Politician Is Trying to Put an End to Racism & anti-Semitism on Twitter

Luciana Berger, the subject of some 2,500 anti-Semitic tweets earlier this year, wants the platform to ban racist words

Read More

More Headlines