Shalom Life | January 31, 2015

The “Jewish” Avengers Lands in Theatres

Jews Play a big Role in Saving the Universe

By: Daniel Horowitz

Published: May 4th, 2012 in Culture » Film » News

The “Jewish” Avengers Lands in Theatres

We must be approaching summer, as the first big, and one of the most highly anticipated summer blockbusters has finally flown into theatres and, yes, faithful Shalom Life readers, there is a decidedly Jewish flavor to the flick.

For those of you unaware of the storyline, Nick Fury, played by the incomparable and not Jewish Samuel L. Jackson is the director of S.H.I.E.L.D, an international peace keeping agency. The agency is a who's who of Marvel Super Heroes, all created by Jewish comic book writers Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and Joe Simon, with Iron Man and his alter ego, Tony Stark, played by Member of the Tribe, Robert Downey Junior; The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow, played by the unlikeliest and probably sexiest of Jewesses, Scarlett Johansson.

When global security is threatened by Loki and his cohorts, Nick Fury and his team will need all their powers to save the world from disaster.

To enable herself to literally squirm her way into her Black Widow costume, Johansson, like Jewish women everywhere who are preparing for a bat mitzvah, wedding or funeral, struggles into a pair of Super Hero Spanx before every costume fitting where, outside her dressing room, passerbys have heard her scream, “Oy vey, I can’t get into these @$@%@ things and I’m starting to schvitz!”

Meanwhile, Downey Junior, who has reportedly slept in every dressing room and trailer other than his own, has already cost the production millions in overtime, insisting that he, the Hulk, and Hawkeye lay tefillan every morning before donning their costumes.

Gwyneth Paltrow, who comes from a long lineage of rabbis, is Iron Man’s faithful servant, Pepper Potts, who ensures that her boss’s every whim is taken care of before he takes off on another mission, including picking up a fresh chala for Shabbos, and making sure he doesn't leave the house without first eating a fresh bagel with shmeer.

Due to the overwhelming Jewishness of the cast, producers originally were looking into other names for the film. Some titles that were decided against include: “Hebrew Heroes”, “The Whiners”, and “Hooray for the Hebes!”

Due to a last minute casting decision, actor Mel Gibson was dropped from his role as Iron Man’s Rabbi.

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