Dual Movie Reviews: Snow White and the Huntsman and Piranha 3DD
One disappoints and the other pleasantly surprises.
This weekend, the two main wide releases for you to enjoy in theatres are Snow White and the Huntsman, and Piranha 3DD. One is based off of a popular literary, film, and television character that everyone has known for hundreds of years, and the other is based on a movie about Piranhas that came out less than two years ago. If you’re having trouble deciding which one to see, we’re here to help you with your decision.
First up is Snow White and the Huntsman. It stars Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, and Kristen Stewart. Since the writer and director are mostly unknown, the film’s big selling point seems to be that it’s made by the same producer as Alice in Wonderland. Snow White and the Huntsman attempts to tell a darker and highly stylized version of the popular fairy tale. The problem here is that it’s not a very good one. Between uncomfortably long and unnecessary scenes, awkward acting, and a plot that straight makes no sense, there’s essentially nothing in this movie to like. The effects, while slightly impressive for a few seconds, are often repeated and add no substance to the story. And this movie could definitely use some substance. Other than a very good performance by Charlize Theron, Snow White and the Huntsman offers up nothing new in the classic story that we’ve all heard a hundred times.
So that just leaves Piranha 3DD; a sequel to a movie where fish eat people in 3D. The idea behind the sequel was more or less to add an extra letter to the title and make a few million dollars. If you’re going to a movie called Piranha 3DD you shouldn’t be expecting high class entertainment, so don’t be surprised when you don’t get any. This movie is just an hour and a half of nudity and piranhas. There’s also some cheesy lines, a Gary Busey cameo, and a David Hasselhoff side-story. But ultimately, it’s not terrible; strictly because of how terrible it is. If you’re looking for a fun way to kill some time and turn off your brain, Piranha 3DD is definitely a good way to do that.
In the end, Piranha 3DD emerges as the better movie, but only because it knows how bad it is right out of the gate. No one is expecting you to believe that Piranhas can actually attack people in a water park, so when it happens, you should already be game. However, in Snow White and the Huntsman, everyone involved seems to be taking the movie way too seriously for what it is. Especially considering that there’s literally a scene where Charlize Theron takes a bath in milk for some unexplained reason.
So, this weekend your movie choices are pretty simple. You can either see Snow White and the Huntsman and prepare for disappointment, or watch Piranha 3DD and be pleasantly surprised… by how bad it is. Or, I suppose you could just see The Avengers for the fifth time.