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Jewish Top 10s: Moustaches

In honour of Movember, Shalom Life lists the greatest moustaches to be donned by contemporary Jewish figures, including celebrities, musicians, and more

By: Zak Edwards
Published: November 15th, 2013 in News » Local
The 'Stache

Welcome to Jewish Top 10s, where we compile lists that highlight the best and the brightest of everything yehudi, from delicious recipes to funniest actors, to most obnoxious Jewish wedding songs.

This week's list is in honour of Movember, the month long excursion where men the world over grow moustaches in support of promoting awareness and raising funds for cancer research.

"As an official global charity, Movember’s vision is to have an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health. During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of millions of moustaches around the world. Through the power of the moustache, vital funds and awareness are raised to combat prostate and testicular cancer and mental health challenges."

To pay respects to this noble charitable endeavour, Shalom Life is proud to look at the top ten contemporary Jewish moustaches. To educate yourself on the subject first, check out our Top 10 Greatest Jewish Moustaches of All Time.

Happy Movember.

HONORARY MENTIONS


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Thomas Friedman

Hometown: St. Louis Park, MN

Famous For (other than his moustache): Writing very hopeful books about globalization, pissing off university professors in a variety of disciplines

For controversial right-wing pundit Thomas Friedman, his popular book isn’t the only thing that’s Hot, Flat, and Crowded. At once popular and unpopular for his proclamations about globalization and fairly romantic view of overseas labour, Walter Russell Mead described Friedman’s writing as "an occasionally flat Midwestern demotic punctuated by gee-whiz exclamations.” But the man’s ‘stache and conservative opinions struck a chord with his detractors a couple of years ago, when the internet meme The Moustache of Understanding became popular. The meme basically posits that Friedman’s moustache allows him to understand things us mere mortals cannot fathom, which is why so much of his work doesn’t make any sense.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Jason Segel

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Famous For (other than his moustache): The Muppets, How I Met Your Mother, Freaks and Geeks.

Jason Segel is not commonly associated with moustaches, even if his early role in Judd Apatow’s Freak and Geeks did get dangerously close to some awkward patchiness. However, we just couldn't resist posting this picture.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Famous For (other than his moustache): Superbad, Role Models, Kick Ass

McLovin reprised his role as spoiled son of a mob leader in this year’s Kick Ass 2, where he became the character known as the Motherfucker, the worst humanity has to offer. For his character, real name Chris D'Amico, this includes the greasiest of attempts at legitimate facial hair. In terms of mustaches, Mintz-Plasse frequently rocks a little tea strainer that begs the question, “Are his hormone levels okay?” Seriously, this pubescent snot mop is hard to scrub from our memories.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Jake Gyllenhaal

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Famous For (other than his moustache): Donnie Darko, Brokeback Mountain, being Maggie Gyllenhaal’s little brother.

Donning this stach during Brokeback Mountain, one of the most iconic films of his career, alone merits his spot on this list.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Daniel Radcliffe

Hometown: West London, England

Famous For (other than his moustache): Being Harry Potter and naked on-stage with a horse.

While Harry Potter isn’t exactly known for growing anything except in pubescent annoyances, Daniel Radcliffe’s role in the 2007 WWI drama My Boy Jack saw a pretty epic moustache.

Since then, Radcliffe has been all over the place trying to avoid typecasting, so we are very eager to see The Boy Who Lived turn into The Boy Who Rocked a Great Moustache.

TOP TEN

10.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Sacha Baron Cohen

Hometown: London, England

Famous For (other than his moustache): Da Ali G Show, making controversial movies, attending Cambridge University

Sacha Baron Cohen is probably the most successful Jewish wearer of all types of lip toupees in recent years. He truly is a chameleon when he wants to be, showing up when we least expect it, like in Les Miserables.

He rocks a well groomed mo in Martin Scorsese’s Hugo, too, and Ali G’s awful pencil thin goatee and ‘stache combo is pretty famous in itself. Of course, his most famous pushbroom is Borat Sagdiyev from Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Cohen’s work usually films real people and Borat’s filming saw the Glorious Moustache of Kazakhstan go across America, exposing some of America’s own biases. Plenty of real people have encountered Borat, none with better moustaches though.

9.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Seth Rogen

Hometown: Vancouver, British Columbia

Famous For (other than his moustache): Superbad, Knocked Up, Funny People, This is the End

Seth Rogen has rocked a few crumb catchers in his day even though he usually has the “Oh, I forgot to shave because I was high this week” beard. But a moustache and beard are very different things, so thankfully Seth Rogen’s moustaches are quite delightful.

His cop-stache from Superbad is probably the most memorable; a classic moustache for an old school cop who likes drinking on the job, shooting traffic signs, and generally abusing his authority. The handlebar is simply too awesome to ignore.

8.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Jonah Hill

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Famous for (other than his moustache): Moneyball, Superbad, 21 Jump Street, Knocked Up

Of all the actors who have earned their rightful spot on this place, none have actually done a tutorial on moustaches, teaming up with Sesame Street's own Elmo in the process. Hill arrives sporting a full on beard, with quite the prominent 'stache, and teaches kid the logistics of maintaining a bad ass moustache. He even shows you how to comb it!

7.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Andy Samberg

Hometown: Berkeley, CA

Famous For (other than his moustache): Rapping with Natalie Portman, popularizing the phrase “Dick in a Box,” Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Andy Samberg donned a glorious moustache in his 2007 film Hot Rod. It was pretty epic, to say the least, and gave his character the courage to attempt a jump he was previously too scared to try. Of course, it didn’t work out, but Samberg’s character had one thing right: all great men have moustaches.

6.


The Man Behind the 'Stache: Shia Labeouf

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Famous For (other than his moustache): Transformers, beating people up in a Wal-Mart, nervously talking at a professional level.

That gif pretty much speaks for itself, but this pic also depicts Labeouf harnessing the raw power of the 'stache and all its awesome manliness:


Continue reading on Page 2 for our Top 5 Jewish Moustaches

Related articles: Movember, Jewish Top 10s, Moustache, Mustache, Jason Segel, Seth Rogen, Adrien Brody, James Franco, David Cross, Sarah Silverman, Shia Labeouf
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