Shalom Life | June 28, 2015

The Love Jewce: To Find a Nice Jewish Guy, Stop Being So Jewish

Could it be time to start dating for the love of culture, as opposed to for the love of religion?

By: Andria Kaplan

Published: October 28th, 2014 in Culture » Society » News

Want to find a Jewish guy? Then stop talking about everything being “Jewish.”

As females we have this urge to find an NJB and always make it known we only date Jewish guys … well maybe Jewish guys don’t need to hear that we only want to date Jewish guys … maybe they don’t need to hear anything about being Jewish. Maybe the first date isn’t leading to a second date because you’re too busy discussing your “kosher” eating habits and how your religion is oh-so-important. More than likely we all know and value that being Jewish in whatever way you choose is relevant to your life. But as the years progress, it’s not to rethink how we date our own kind in order to keep our own kind.

Let’s take a lesson from two college professors, Barry Kosmin and Ariela Keysar who attend Trinity College Institute for the Study of Secularism in Society and Culture. According to a survey of 1,157 self-identified Jewish college students that have similarities to the Pew Research Center’s 2013 Portrait of Jewish Americans, it is obvious Jewish life in the U.S.A. is changing.

We identify differently as Jews than our parents and grandparents do -- the Holocaust and the creation of the State of Israel defined them -- as for us, Millennials, the survey found these events to be of less importance. Of the 1,157 college students surveyed 62 percent had visited Israel and 35 percent felt the Jewish state was “very important.”

Thirdly, the students named Israel as a “top concern” when they were asked to identify the “crucial issues” concerning young Jewish today.

In an interview with Jewcy, New Voices magazine’s editor Derek M. Kwait refers to Israel's “amoeba-like takeover of all Jewish life on campus” -- it’s not surprising that some Jewish college students consider their religious and cultural identity to be separate from Israel. This is another fact that leads to my point about not yapping about your “Jewishness” while on first dates.

Our generation (Millennials) is identifying with Israel and keeping religion separate. With 39 percent of Jews on campus identifying themselves as “secular” and 23 percent identifying as “religious” the fact that you’re “Just Jewish” is attractive. The love game is changing and although you may find yourself frustrated while searching for that special NJB, with a stat like 80 percent identifying Judaism as a culture, it’s time to date for the love of the culture and not the love of religion.

I’m not saying that your “religious” beliefs should be put to the back burner but they should not be served up front. Test it out for yourself.

Read the full result of the survey here.


Andria Kaplan is ShalomLife's 89% kosher resident dating/love columnist. Find her on Tinder, but only if you're Jewish.

Want to share your own Tinder stories, awkward dates, or interesting JDate experiences ? Email Andria at andriakaplan@gmail.com or tweet your suggestions to @ShalomLife, or @AndriaKaplan.

Tune in next Tuesday for the next episode of The Love Jewce.

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