Jewish Top 10s: Seinfeld Episodes

Welcome to Jewish Top 10s, where we compile lists that highlight the best and the brightest of everything yehudi, from delicious recipes to funniest actors, to most obnoxious Jewish wedding songs.

It’s no secret that Jewish people are particularly fond of comedy; Adam Sandler, Billy Crystal, Sarah Silverman, Woody Allen, Howie Mandel, Richard Lewis, Seth Rogen, Jon Stewart, and of course, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, to name a few, have all played a major role in making us laugh over the past few decades.

In the spirit of laughter, we’ve chosen to focus on the definitive television show, arguably, of all time, and after careful consideration, lengthy periods of TV watching, and intense, hourlong discussions, we at Shalom Life present to you the Top Ten Seinfeld Episodes.

Finally, serenity now.

HONORARY MENTIONS

EPISODE: THE BUBBLE BOY (S04E07)

WRITERS: LARRY DAVID & LARRY CHARLES

GUEST STARRING: JERRY’S GF NAOMI, DONALD SANGER (‘THE BUBBLE BOY’)

IT’S GOLD, JERRY:

GEORGE: That’s pie country. They do a lot of baking up there.

JERRY: They sell them by the side of the road. Blueberry blackberry.

GEORGE: Blackberry boysenberry.

JERRY: Boysenberry huckleberry.

GEORGE: Huckleberry raspberry.

JERRY: Raspberry strawberry.

GEORGE: Strawberry cranberry.

JERRY: Peach.

EPISODE: THE FACE PAINTER (S06E23)

WRITERS: LARRY DAVID & FRED STOLLER

GUEST STARRING: DAVID PUDDY, ALEC BERG, GEORGE’S GF SIENA, A CHIMPANZEE, A CATHOLIC PRIEST

IT’S GOLD, JERRY:

GEORGE: You have any idea how fast these things deteriorate when there’s an ‘I love you’ out of the bag? You can’t have a relationship where one person says, ‘I love you’, and the other says, ‘I’m hungry. Let’s get something to eat.’

JERRY: Unless you’re married.

GEORGE: I mean, now she thinks that I’m one of these guys that love her. Nobody wants to be with somebody that loves them.

JERRY: No, people hate that.

EPISODE: THE HAMPTONS (S05E21)

WRITERS: PETER MEHLMAN & CAROL LEIFER

GUEST STARRING: GEORGE’S GF JANE, JERRY’S GF RACHEL, DR. BEN, CAROL, MICHAEL & ‘THE BABY’

IT’S GOLD, JERRY:

MICHAEL: Thanks for the lobster, Kramer.

KRAMER: Rachel, aren’t you gonna have any?

RACHEL: Oh, no, I can’t. I’m kosher, we don’t eat shellfish.

KRAMER: You mean you’ve never tasted lobster?

RACHEL: No.

KRAMER: Wow. You’re so pious. I really respect that. You know when you die, you’re gonna get some special attention.

ALSO:

Shrinkage. That is all.

EPISODE: THE OPERA (S04E09)

WRITER: LARRY CHARLES

GUEST STARRING: ‘CRAZY’ JOE DAVOLA, SUSAN

IT’S GOLD, JERRY:

JERRY: The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman’s point of view that men are all the same, so we might as well dress them that way. That’s why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful glowing bride, and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over and she marries the next guy. Thats why the wedding vow isn’t ‘do you take Bill Simpson’, it’s ‘do you take this man?’