Shalom Life | August 29, 2014

9/11 Mastermind Ultimately Done in by Technology

U.S. Navy SEALs found bin Laden's location on social-networking app.

By: Fictional News Staff

Published: May 5th, 2011 in News » World

9/11 Mastermind Ultimately Done in by Technology

In a shocking announcement made by U.S. President Barack Obama earlier this afternoon, the recent killing of Osama bin Laden inside a secured private residential compound in Abbottabd, Paskistan, in a covert operation authorized and orchestrated by Obama himself, was aided by an unlikely source.

Since September 11, 2001, when Osama was responsible for attacks on New York’s World Trade Centre and other mass-casualty attacks, the U.S. has been searching for the founder of the al-Qaeda organization with no success.

But on May 2, when U.S. Navy SEALs stormed bin Laden’s compound, the questions of how they finally managed to track him down -- the greatest hide-and-seek champion of all time -- continue.

The answer may be surprisingly simple to most: Blame it on bin Laden’s new iPhone and Foursquare, the popular location-based social-networking website.

According to a bin Laden accomplice who was arrested at the compound during the raid, it was bin Laden’s willingness to join the 21st century that finally did him in.

“For many years Osama refused any type of technology. But then we got satellite at the compound and he started watching American Idol and loved it. His favourite was Casey, so he requested a iPhone so he can vote in for him.”

American Idol, it seems, was the beginning of his downfall.

“Once Casey got voted off Osama stopped watching the show and started downloading all these apps. Then he found Foursquare and became obsessed with being the mayor of every place in Abbottabd”.

Luckily for him, he was the only person in Abbottabd to know what Foursquare is, and to own an iPhone, so he quickly got his wish. However, his obsession is what led to his capture as U.S. intelligence managed to intercept a transmission saying “The Notorious O.B.L has checked into his Abbottabd compound.”

That American Idol show is a curse," said the accomplice. Had Osama never watched it he would still be here. But that Casey...he has the voice of an angel."

What? He’s a Jew? Seriously? Oy Vey.”

This story is obviously ficitional. If Osama had a favorite on Idol, it would be James.

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