Shalom Life | April 16, 2014

Be Careful Before Lining Up in the "16 Items or Less” Line

Hopefully My Shopping Experience Resulted in a Convert

By: Daniel Horowitz

Published: January 22nd, 2012 in News » World

Be Careful Before Lining Up in the "16 Items or Less” Line
I think I’m fairly recognizable as a Hebrew.

That is to say, I’ve never been confused with Thor or any other God from Norse mythology, or as say, an Aryan.

My once-golden locks long ago turned brown, now, sadly, with some grey cracking the surface.

Everything about me says “Jew”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m as proud a Jew as there is.

I usually offer my religious affiliation to any and all, regardless of whether or not it was requested.

Today, while shopping at a neighbourhood grocery store, my Jewishness clearly led a fellow shopper to the dark side, as she showed her true, unsavoury colours.

As I made my final purchase, I gently pushed my shopping cart to the least busy aisle, which happened to be the dreaded “16 Items or Less” aisle. Not having the time – or the desire - to count my items, which consisted of 6 cases of drinking water (you never know when the Avian flu might hit), a carton of eggs, and various fruits and vegetables, I figured I was close enough to the assigned maximum so as to not set off the 17 alarm.

If I was a betting man, I would have chosen the “under”, something pseudo-relevant what with the Super Bowl quickly approaching.

Anyway, as I turned to look at the growing line behind me, I saw who appeared to be a lovely “40’ish” blond lady with who I assume was her 75-year-old mother.

As I greeted them with a warm “hi”, I was greeted with a stern look as she perused my cart, followed by a snippy, “You do know this is the 16 item aisle, don’t you?” I realized right then and there that an affair full of wondrous afternoon delights was not in my immediate future with this attractive woman.

I looked at them both as they stared at my cart, and, using my powers as a writer who is never at a loss for words, I responded with, “um, ok.”

Wow. Way to go, Daniel. You don’t take crap from anyone, now , do you?! You show them who’s boss!

Suddenly, sensing their eyes on firmly planted on me as I took items from the cart and placed them on the cashier’s conveyer belt, I’m pretty sure I heard one of those old fashioned calculators whirring, as they added up my merchandise.

With tensions rising, and as I approached the magic “16” without my water being included, I was becoming nervous. Would this start a riot? Was she counting my carton of eggs as twelve items?

I pretended not to notice as I paid for my (gasp) 22 items, and proceeded to leave. It’s then when I heard something that really makes me ponder the ignorance, and self-loathing of some people.

The mother, who looked as if she had just fallen from a Norman Rockwell painting, whispered to her daughter, “what can you do, it’s just the way they are. ____ are just no good. They don’t care about anyone.”

The blank space above was filled in with the “J” word. Unless the old bag (and you know who you are, Ava) was talking about the store’s orange Juice, I believe I was the on the receiving end of some bad old anti-Semitism.

I looked at them, making sure they knew that I heard them, to which they both gasped when they saw my eyes. And you can be sure, I gave them both the stink eye.

Roughly 5 minutes later, as I filled my car with my 22 purchases, I heard a woman shouting. Instinctively, I ran to see an elderly woman sitting on the parking lot’s pavement having slipped on a piece of ice.

As I got closer, I noticed it “her”, the lady who doesn’t appear to like Jews.

It was hard for me, and my first instinct was to say to her, “you’re right, we don’t care about anyone.” And simply walk away. But, no, I bent down, helped her up, and even helped her gather her groceries (which I was dying to count).

Shocked to see her rescuer was me, she gave me an embarrassed smile and thanked me profusely “for being so kind.”

I responded with a simple and sincere, “Shabbat Shalom” before turning and starting my walk home.

Castrillo de Matajudíos (Jew Killer) Looks to Adopt Less anti-Semitic Name Castrillo de Matajudíos (Jew Killer) Looks to Adopt Less anti-Semitic Name TrendingLondon School Teacher To Jewish Student: I'll Send You to 'Gas Chambers' London School Teacher To Jewish Student: I'll Send You to 'Gas Chambers' TrendingKansas City Shootings Suspect Is White Supremacist Kansas City Shootings Suspect Is White Supremacist Trending
 

Chinese Tourists Flock to Israel

April 15, 2014 | By Ynet News
Chinese Tourists Flock to Israel

The number of Chinese tourists visiting Israel rose by 30 percent in 2013

Read More

Top 10 Israeli Futuristic Technologies

April 15, 2014 | By Miles Rosenblatt
Top 10 Israeli Futuristic Technologies

A look at ten Israeli companies whose futuristic innovations will shape days to come

Read More

Passover Book Series: Stone Soup with Matzoh Balls [GIVEAWAY]

April 15, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
Passover Book Series: Stone Soup with Matzoh Balls [GIVEAWAY]

We speak to Linda Glaser, author of the inspiring book that teaches kids about community, family, and tradition

Read More

Stoudemire to Israel?

April 15, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
Stoudemire to Israel?

The New York Knicks power forward has indicated that he could be en route to the Holy Land after his contract ends with the Knicks next summer

Read More

Andrew Garfield Insists That Spiderman is Jewish

April 15, 2014 | By Ashley Ramnarain
Andrew Garfield Insists That Spiderman is Jewish

The 30-year-old actor explains why the superhero he plays must be a Jew

Read More

Will Chelsea Handler Take Craig Ferguson's Late Late Night Hosting Gig?

April 15, 2014 | By Ashley Ramnarain
Will Chelsea Handler Take Craig Ferguson's Late Late Night Hosting Gig?

A recent Instagram posting from Handler alludes to a late night dethroning

Read More

Boutique Hotels: The Future of Jerusalem's Hospitality Industry

April 15, 2014 | By Ben Jacobson
Boutique Hotels: The Future of Jerusalem's Hospitality Industry

Over the past decade, several boutique hotels have opened up in Israel's capital, catering to members of the city's flourishing business scene

Read More

REVIEW: 'The Sound of Music' on Stage in Toronto

April 15, 2014 | By Ashley Ramnarain
REVIEW: 'The Sound of Music' on Stage in Toronto

Catch Maria and the Von Trapp family on stage with The Lower Ossington Theatre until May 3rd.

Read More

More Headlines