Shalom Life | October 31, 2014

IOC to Hold Special Moment of Silence at Closing Ceremonies

International Olympic Committee decides to commemorate important events

By: Daniel Horowitz

Published: August 3rd, 2012 in News » World

IOC to Hold Special Moment of Silence at Closing Ceremonies

In what can only be described as an unexpected announcement, Shalom Life has learned that Jacques Rogge, the president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), has agreed to hold a special commemorative ceremony that will include a moment of silence at the conclusion of the London Olympics, on Sunday, August 12th.

However, what is also unexpected is that the ceremony will not, as hoped by many, commemorate the “Munich 11” - the members of the 1972 Israeli Olympic team murdered during the Munich Olympics - but rather other issues of importance to Rogge himself.

According to preliminary reports acquired by Shalom Life, the ceremony will open with a video montage featuring the best moments of Jennifer Lopez’s time on American Idol, followed by a moment of silence for the singer, who has, much to the dismay of Rogge, announced that she will not be returning to the show next season.

“Unless there’s something that is absolutely urgent, perhaps a White Supremacist Meeting, I make sure that I’m home, in front of my television whenever American Idol is on,” said Rogge in a statement issued last week. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without J. Lo; to me she was the heart and soul of the show. And Stephen Tyler is leaving, too? There’s something terribly wrong with this world if nobody is going to commemorate this tremendous loss, and I feel that the Olympics’ closing ceremonies is the perfect venue in which to hold such a commemoration event.”

The event, which will also feature a song and dance extravaganza with all members of the respective Olympic teams except for the Israeli team and any Jewish competitors, is expected to also see a moment of silence held for the new Sheenless version of Two-and-a-Half Men, another Rogge staple.

“It’s too bad that Charlie had to leave because of the abuse he surely suffered at the hands of the show’s Zionist executive producer,” said Rogge. “I really never got into Ashton Kutcher’s character. I don’t believe that Charlie Sheen’s departure from the show was ever treated properly, and I feel that a ceremony to remember the wonderful and somewhat enigmatic character that was Charlie Harper deserves recognition and a moment of silence at the Olympics, which I feel, is the most appropriate venue for that commemoration.”

Olympic organizers, at the behest of Rogge and the rest of the IOC, are also considering the inclusion of a special dance to be performed by all African nations competing in London, that would serve as a special commemoration for, and salute to, Kofi Annan, the UN-Arab League special envoy for Syria, who announced this week that he is stepping down at the end of the month.

Asked if there will be a moment of silence held for Annan’s departure from the UN, Rogge relied, “Of course, why wouldn’t there be? I think the Olympics is the perfect venue to hold a moment of silence for all important moments that have had an ongoing affect on the people of the world.”

The above story is fiction. Well, except for the part that the IOC will not commemorate the Munich 11. That, sadly, is the truth. Shame on you IOC.

This Israeli Prison Hosted a Fashion Show for its Inmates This Israeli Prison Hosted a Fashion Show for its Inmates TrendingEverybody Wants to Know Which U.S. Official Called Netanyahu A "Chickenshit" Everybody Wants to Know Which U.S. Official Called Netanyahu A "Chickenshit" TrendingIsrael's Latest Campaign Is A 7-Part Japanese Anime Series [VIDEO] Israel's Latest Campaign Is A 7-Part Japanese Anime Series [VIDEO] Trending
 

Lena Dunham and Celebrity BFF’s Raise Awareness For Planned Parenthood

October 30, 2014 | By Ashley Baylen
Lena Dunham and Celebrity BFF’s Raise Awareness For Planned Parenthood

The 'Girls' creator has designed a shirt for the women's rights organization

Read More

Seth Rogen Will Play Steve Wozniak in New Steve Jobs Bio Pic

October 30, 2014 | By Ashley Baylen
Seth Rogen Will Play Steve Wozniak in New Steve Jobs Bio Pic

Rogen is in negotiations to star as the Apple co-founder alongside Christian Bale

Read More

A New Pee-Wee Herman Movie Has Been Confirmed

October 30, 2014 | By Ashley Baylen
A New Pee-Wee Herman Movie Has Been Confirmed

Paul Reubens told Jimmy Fallon that Judd Apatow will be producing the reboot

Read More

Breakthrough Jew - Joshua Meier

October 30, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Breakthrough Jew - Joshua Meier

18-year-old Meier won the Best in Category Award in cellular and molecular biology at the 2014 Intel International Science and Engineering Fair for his work in harnessing the aging process to treat diseases.

Read More

Startup Club: Cat2See

October 30, 2014 | By Caitlin Marceau
Startup Club: Cat2See

The Israeli company has created an app that lets you play with your cats, monitor them, and even feed them when you're not home

Read More

Why the Mastermind Behind Leon Klinghoffer’s Murder Went Free

October 30, 2014 | By Stephen M. Flatow, JNS.org
Why the Mastermind Behind Leon Klinghoffer’s Murder Went Free

Amid the ongoing controversy over the Metropolitan Opera's performance of "The Death of Klinghoffer," little has been said about the Palestinian leader who masterminded the attack in which Klinghoffer was murdered

Read More

This Israeli Prison Hosted a Fashion Show for its Inmates

October 30, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
This Israeli Prison Hosted a Fashion Show for its Inmates

The Holy Land's only female prison debuted what and what not to wear while incarcerated

Read More

Haaretz Publish Cartoon Depicting Netanyahu as Pilot Behind 9/11 Attacks

October 30, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
Haaretz Publish Cartoon Depicting Netanyahu as Pilot Behind 9/11 Attacks

Twitter responds, naturally, with outrage

Read More

More Headlines