Shalom Life | November 27, 2014

IOC to Hold Special Moment of Silence at Closing Ceremonies

International Olympic Committee decides to commemorate important events

By: Daniel Horowitz

Published: August 3rd, 2012 in News » World

IOC to Hold Special Moment of Silence at Closing Ceremonies

In what can only be described as an unexpected announcement, Shalom Life has learned that Jacques Rogge, the president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), has agreed to hold a special commemorative ceremony that will include a moment of silence at the conclusion of the London Olympics, on Sunday, August 12th.

However, what is also unexpected is that the ceremony will not, as hoped by many, commemorate the “Munich 11” - the members of the 1972 Israeli Olympic team murdered during the Munich Olympics - but rather other issues of importance to Rogge himself.

According to preliminary reports acquired by Shalom Life, the ceremony will open with a video montage featuring the best moments of Jennifer Lopez’s time on American Idol, followed by a moment of silence for the singer, who has, much to the dismay of Rogge, announced that she will not be returning to the show next season.

“Unless there’s something that is absolutely urgent, perhaps a White Supremacist Meeting, I make sure that I’m home, in front of my television whenever American Idol is on,” said Rogge in a statement issued last week. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without J. Lo; to me she was the heart and soul of the show. And Stephen Tyler is leaving, too? There’s something terribly wrong with this world if nobody is going to commemorate this tremendous loss, and I feel that the Olympics’ closing ceremonies is the perfect venue in which to hold such a commemoration event.”

The event, which will also feature a song and dance extravaganza with all members of the respective Olympic teams except for the Israeli team and any Jewish competitors, is expected to also see a moment of silence held for the new Sheenless version of Two-and-a-Half Men, another Rogge staple.

“It’s too bad that Charlie had to leave because of the abuse he surely suffered at the hands of the show’s Zionist executive producer,” said Rogge. “I really never got into Ashton Kutcher’s character. I don’t believe that Charlie Sheen’s departure from the show was ever treated properly, and I feel that a ceremony to remember the wonderful and somewhat enigmatic character that was Charlie Harper deserves recognition and a moment of silence at the Olympics, which I feel, is the most appropriate venue for that commemoration.”

Olympic organizers, at the behest of Rogge and the rest of the IOC, are also considering the inclusion of a special dance to be performed by all African nations competing in London, that would serve as a special commemoration for, and salute to, Kofi Annan, the UN-Arab League special envoy for Syria, who announced this week that he is stepping down at the end of the month.

Asked if there will be a moment of silence held for Annan’s departure from the UN, Rogge relied, “Of course, why wouldn’t there be? I think the Olympics is the perfect venue to hold a moment of silence for all important moments that have had an ongoing affect on the people of the world.”

The above story is fiction. Well, except for the part that the IOC will not commemorate the Munich 11. That, sadly, is the truth. Shame on you IOC.

UJA Federation of Greater Toronto Approves Funding to Strengthen Israel’s Southern Region UJA Federation of Greater Toronto Approves Funding to Strengthen Israel’s Southern Region TrendingSeth Rogen Presents 'A Jewish-Canadian-American Thanksgiving' [VIDEO] Seth Rogen Presents 'A Jewish-Canadian-American Thanksgiving' [VIDEO] TrendingAbbas' Book Discusses the 'Secret Relationship Between Nazism and Zionism' Abbas' Book Discusses the 'Secret Relationship Between Nazism and Zionism' Trending
 

Startup Club: Leap Motion

November 27, 2014 | By Caitlin Marceau
Startup Club: Leap Motion

With a wave of a hand, the company allows you to use your Mac or PC in a whole new way for games, design, and more

Read More

Breakthrough Jew - Mendy Pellin

November 27, 2014 | By Sara Torvik
Breakthrough Jew - Mendy Pellin

Pellin was referred to by The New York Times as "Stephen Colbert with a beard and a black hat."

Read More

Top 20 Things to do in Israel During the Winter

November 27, 2014 | By Abigail Klein Leichman
Top 20 Things to do in Israel During the Winter

Ski in the Hermon, watch the migratory birds, see the holiday lights, dance the lindy hop there's plenty of fun to heat up chilly days.

Read More

Natalie Portman to Star in Steve Jobs Biopic?

November 27, 2014 | By Ashley Baylen
Natalie Portman to Star in Steve Jobs Biopic?

The 'Thor' actress is in negotiations to star in Danny Boyle's upcoming film following the Apple co-founder.

Read More

Sarah Jessica Parker to Launch Shoe Line in Dubai

November 27, 2014 | By Ashley Baylen
Sarah Jessica Parker to Launch Shoe Line in Dubai

The SJP Collection will be available at Harvey Nichols and Bloomingdale's in Dubai.

Read More

Melissa Rivers Posts Thanksgiving Wishes From Mom Joan’s Account

November 27, 2014 | By Ashley Baylen
Melissa Rivers Posts Thanksgiving Wishes From Mom Joan’s Account

Rivers "finally figured out" her mom's Twitter password, takes the opportunity to wish her fans a Happy Thanksgiving.

Read More

Seth Rogen Invites Millions of Twitter Fans to Get High With Him

November 27, 2014 | By Ashley Baylen
Seth Rogen Invites Millions of Twitter Fans to Get High With Him

'The Interview' star wants followers to "get baked" with him in Denver.

Read More

You Can Now Take a Virtual Tour of the Auschwitz-Birkenau Death Camp

November 27, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
You Can Now Take a Virtual Tour of the Auschwitz-Birkenau Death Camp

The Auschwitz museum has unveiled a new virtual tour on its website

Read More

More Headlines