Shalom Life | August 31, 2014

IOC to Hold Special Moment of Silence at Closing Ceremonies

International Olympic Committee decides to commemorate important events

By: Daniel Horowitz

Published: August 3rd, 2012 in News » World

IOC to Hold Special Moment of Silence at Closing Ceremonies

In what can only be described as an unexpected announcement, Shalom Life has learned that Jacques Rogge, the president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), has agreed to hold a special commemorative ceremony that will include a moment of silence at the conclusion of the London Olympics, on Sunday, August 12th.

However, what is also unexpected is that the ceremony will not, as hoped by many, commemorate the “Munich 11” - the members of the 1972 Israeli Olympic team murdered during the Munich Olympics - but rather other issues of importance to Rogge himself.

According to preliminary reports acquired by Shalom Life, the ceremony will open with a video montage featuring the best moments of Jennifer Lopez’s time on American Idol, followed by a moment of silence for the singer, who has, much to the dismay of Rogge, announced that she will not be returning to the show next season.

“Unless there’s something that is absolutely urgent, perhaps a White Supremacist Meeting, I make sure that I’m home, in front of my television whenever American Idol is on,” said Rogge in a statement issued last week. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without J. Lo; to me she was the heart and soul of the show. And Stephen Tyler is leaving, too? There’s something terribly wrong with this world if nobody is going to commemorate this tremendous loss, and I feel that the Olympics’ closing ceremonies is the perfect venue in which to hold such a commemoration event.”

The event, which will also feature a song and dance extravaganza with all members of the respective Olympic teams except for the Israeli team and any Jewish competitors, is expected to also see a moment of silence held for the new Sheenless version of Two-and-a-Half Men, another Rogge staple.

“It’s too bad that Charlie had to leave because of the abuse he surely suffered at the hands of the show’s Zionist executive producer,” said Rogge. “I really never got into Ashton Kutcher’s character. I don’t believe that Charlie Sheen’s departure from the show was ever treated properly, and I feel that a ceremony to remember the wonderful and somewhat enigmatic character that was Charlie Harper deserves recognition and a moment of silence at the Olympics, which I feel, is the most appropriate venue for that commemoration.”

Olympic organizers, at the behest of Rogge and the rest of the IOC, are also considering the inclusion of a special dance to be performed by all African nations competing in London, that would serve as a special commemoration for, and salute to, Kofi Annan, the UN-Arab League special envoy for Syria, who announced this week that he is stepping down at the end of the month.

Asked if there will be a moment of silence held for Annan’s departure from the UN, Rogge relied, “Of course, why wouldn’t there be? I think the Olympics is the perfect venue to hold a moment of silence for all important moments that have had an ongoing affect on the people of the world.”

The above story is fiction. Well, except for the part that the IOC will not commemorate the Munich 11. That, sadly, is the truth. Shame on you IOC.

Spanish Imam Asks Allah to Destroy All the Jews [VIDEO] Spanish Imam Asks Allah to Destroy All the Jews [VIDEO] TrendingIsrael Concerned as Rebels Linked to al-Qaeda Seize Control of Syrian Side of Border Israel Concerned as Rebels Linked to al-Qaeda Seize Control of Syrian Side of Border TrendingIDF Soldier Wounded in Rocket Attack Dies, Raises Israeli Death Toll to 71 IDF Soldier Wounded in Rocket Attack Dies, Raises Israeli Death Toll to 71 Trending
 

The Ten Best Curb Your Enthusiasm Episodes

August 29, 2014 | By Caitlin Marceau & Daniel Koren
The Ten Best Curb Your Enthusiasm Episodes

While Season 9 may be a mere fallacy, we do have 8 seasons of Larry David's hilariously awkward comedy to keep us company

Read More

'Ray Donovan' Creator Ann Biderman Leaves Show

August 29, 2014 | By Ashley Ramnarain
'Ray Donovan' Creator Ann Biderman Leaves Show

Writer David Hollander will take the helm of the Showtime series starring Liev Schreiber

Read More

Watch the Trailer for Jon Stewart's Directorial Debut [VIDEO]

August 29, 2014 | By Ashley Ramnarain
Watch the Trailer for Jon Stewart's Directorial Debut [VIDEO]

'Rosewater' will hit a theater near you in November

Read More

Joaquin Phoenix to Play Marvel's Dr. Strange?

August 29, 2014 | By Ashley Ramnarain
Joaquin Phoenix to Play Marvel's Dr. Strange?

Reports indicate that Phoenix is in final talks to play the wizard warrior in a new Marvel franchise

Read More

Bryan Singer Investigated for Alleged Sex Crime

August 29, 2014 | By Ashley Ramnarain
Bryan Singer Investigated for Alleged Sex Crime

According to sources, the NYPD is looking into a claim that Singer sexually assaulted a man in his twenties

Read More

Spanish Imam Asks Allah to Destroy All the Jews [VIDEO]

August 29, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
Spanish Imam Asks Allah to Destroy All the Jews [VIDEO]

In a Friday sermon, Sheik Saleheoldine al-Moussaoui says the Jews are "by nature treacherous and war-mongering"

Read More

Al-Qaeda Presents: Terrorism 101, A Guide on Making Bombs and Choosing Targets

August 29, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
Al-Qaeda Presents: Terrorism 101, A Guide on Making Bombs and Choosing Targets

The terrorist organization has released a detailed booklet on how to make pressure cooker bombs, and which U.S., U.K., and Israeli targets should be attacked

Read More

Putin Compares Ukrainian Army to the Nazis

August 29, 2014 | By Daniel Koren
Putin Compares Ukrainian Army to the Nazis

The Russian President condemned Ukrainian troops firing at civilians in eastern Ukraine who he said are "suppressed with force"

Read More

More Headlines